from now on my penis is your penis
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
