you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
