So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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