we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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