direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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