My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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