I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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