Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
