When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
