: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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