VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
