i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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