he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
