so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
