? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
