Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
