The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
