if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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