So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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