Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just cropdusted the office
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
