so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
