I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
