You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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