Soap is not a condiment
In America we eat man semen.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
