the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
