I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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