Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
