my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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