I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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