dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
