I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
