I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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