I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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