my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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