i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
