I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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