Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
