I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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