at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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