and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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