Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
