I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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