Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
