do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
