Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
