Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
