I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
