i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
