Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
