My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
pray to the hookup gods
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
