I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
