He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
