apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
