Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
