The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
